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All reviews - Movies (31) - Games (2)

Friend Request review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 22 September 2017 11:49 (A review of Friend Request)

What can be said about this movie? Though it was only 92 minutes, it felt like an eternity. If I was dying, I would watch this movie over and over, filling every minute of my day with it, like Dunbar from Catch-22, making my last moments seemingly last forever. The pacing was poor, with some elements getting too much screen time, and other, more interesting parts mostly being ignored.

Not really very scary, though there were a couple of jump scares that managed to actually startle me. The imagery used was good at being disturbing, but often created more questions than it answered. The story was not really captivating and the characters were terrible.

Sometimes, in horror movies, it is easy to look at a mistake the characters make, or some action they should take and wonder "why don't they just" do something obvious. This movie did a good job of showing why these scenes are often not included, as they were laughably terrible. Trying to delete their accounts, they failed with generic errors. When looking at the code, they see it is magical. Ugh. When confronted by police and the dean of the school, she says she cannot get control of her account, and they offer no assistance, though you'd expect the police department and the IT department of the university to at least be interested in trying something. The most ridiculous part of this was when the dean sat our heroine down and said, "Even if you don't have access and can't remove the video, or delete your account, I'm getting a lot of pressure from the students, so I'm going to have to suspend you for the rest of the semester." Lol. Then, it goes on to have a mostly typical horror movie ending.

Of course, it also suffered from the typical horror movie "whys" as well, like, for instance, why were only some of the friends on her friend list targeted, but not the others? Why could some unfriend her, but others not? Maybe they were closer, real friends? Who cares?

The real tragedy with this movie was that I appreciated the concept. The graphical social media element built into some scenes of the movie was cleverly done. The idea of modern witch was clever. Truly, I am inspired to take the general idea and try to work it into a better story myself. It was an interesting enough concept, maybe it would have been better to not try to tell it as a typical horror story, but a supernatural drama?

The only redeeming quality this movie could have had was that I was going to watch with my pal, Dave, and we could have mocked it together. Unfortunately, there was unexpected traffic, so I was left to deal with the suffering alone. 3/10

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Doctor Zhivago review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 17 September 2017 10:23 (A review of Doctor Zhivago)

This was a fantastic depiction of the events of the Russian Revolution as seen from the eyes of the people affected by it. In short, Dr. Zhivago got a pretty raw deal, as well as most of the Russians. It is concerning how quickly even a little bit of power goes to the head of those who wield it.

The romance of the story is tragic, and not completely a pure thing. For instance, Zhivago's wife is devoted, loyal, and loving, yet he cheats on her. Regardless, the characters do what they must to survive in a dreadful time and it is compelling to watch. 8/10

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Mother! review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 15 September 2017 11:23 (A review of Mother!)

This was super weird. Trailers made me think it was a horror movie, and it kind of feels like one at points, but I don't think it really is. Tons of symbolism, and clearly an allegory, but parts of the symbolism were hard to fit with the characters. At least it was thought provoking, but don't go expecting horror. 7/10

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Roman Holiday review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 10 September 2017 08:41 (A review of Roman Holiday)

A princess rebels and we get to see her day covertly touring the city of Rome. It had its share of comedy, and the interaction of the characters kept it entertaining throughout. If modern "romantic comedies" were more in this style, I think I'd be more inclined to watch them. I also appreciate the realism, in that sometimes things don't work out perfectly happy in the end. 8/10

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IT review

Posted : 2 years, 5 months ago on 8 September 2017 11:27 (A review of IT)

So, the clown is creepy, and there are some scenes that are intense, but I never really felt it was that scary. It also suffered from the typical horror movie problem of wondering why the behavior of the monster changes. Obviously, the easy answer is because the script calls for it, but it lacks in in-story explanation. Same to be said for the kids deciding that they need to stick together, and then, almost seemingly on purpose, run away from each other at every turn.

The story of the kids becoming friends and doing things together was interesting and well done. However, their interactions with literally everyone else in town was over-the-top ridiculous. That all adults were cartoonish villains, and the bullies were over the top aggressive and everywhere, just made it hard to believe. It would have been appropriate if this had been a kids movie, but with an R rating, that clearly was not the intent.

Finally, it didn't help that pretty much every scene of interest was already shown in the trailers. These might have bumped the scare factor, but expecting them took all of the suspense away.

A bummer, cause I was looking forward to this one, but it really had me waiting for it to just end by the cliched finish.

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 review

Posted : 3 years ago on 20 February 2017 04:03 (A review of My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2)

Wow, so amazingly painful, right from the start. Aggravating and annoying behavior masquerading as "comedy". Terrible.

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Vacation review

Posted : 3 years, 3 months ago on 14 November 2016 04:19 (A review of Vacation)

Well, they tried, but the jokes fell short and felt forced. There were a couple of amusing spots, but not enough to make it worth watching. They probably could have done better by editing out the R-rated material and having expanded it to include a larger audience, since maybe some of the jokes would have been funnier to kids? Dunno.

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Ouija review

Posted : 3 years, 11 months ago on 1 April 2016 12:47 (A review of Ouija)

Wow, that was an hour and a half I'll never get back. Dumb from the beginning, I knew it wasn't going to get better when I laughed out loud at the ridiculous and predictable first death. Disjointed, boring, confusing. I found myself wondering if I should make myself finish watching, or just give up. I chose wrong.

Additionally, at the very end, it mentioned Hasbro studios and that it was based on the game, "Ouija" by Hasbro. That might have been the best part of the movie.

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Hexcells Plus review

Posted : 5 years, 6 months ago on 1 September 2014 02:42 (A review of Hexcells Plus)

Challenging puzzle game that is a souped-up minesweeper. Though it doesn't seem like it at times, all the puzzles can be done without guessing. Fun, but short. Still, an enjoyable experience.

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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) review

Posted : 6 years, 1 month ago on 14 January 2014 04:18 (A review of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003))

Lazily written fan fiction with a cast of characters that have entered the public domain with plentiful painful winks to the audience. Cringeworthy. Yet, still entertaining, if only in a trainwreck kind of way.

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